Wednesday, 15 October 2014

When did it become such a bad idea to take your husband's name?

This could perhaps be one my most controversial posts, but fortunately a personal blog is a place where one can voice their own personal thoughts and opinions freely (hopefully) without persecution. Feel free to agree or disagree with what I have to say, let's just not make a sh*@fight out of it ;)


So, it seems I keep hearing and seeing headlines that discuss the issues of misogyny and sexism and other controversial issues that push the gender inequality boundaries and I'm wondering, what's all the fuss about?

Today I read this article on smh.com.au about Family Feud's apparent 'gaffe' last night. Now, as it so happens I was listening to this show in the background while I cooked dinner last night (goodness knows why because I've never actually watched it before!) and as I heard this question come up I thought 'ooooooh there's gonna be trouble over that one!'. But the thing is, does it really require that much of a discussion?

Yes, woman are capable of much more than ironing, cleaning, receptionist duties and hairdressing. But are the feministic crazies that jump on their soapbox every time something like this 'slips through' the censorship cracks actually dismissing the importance of these roles and the capability of the woman who do them?

I happen to be a housewife. I cook, occasionally clean, raise my children and the like. I, for the record, do not iron. Not because it's 'a womans job' and a refuse to be pigeon-holed' but rather because it's a ridiculous waste of time and no-one of either gender should be submitted to doing it. But 'womens jobs' aside, when did it become so bad to do all of those things? Am I less of a woman, feminist or forward thinker because I don't 'work' in a 'job' outside of the home? And perhaps, the 100 Aussies who answered these questions were not just men - 'gasp' no! Perhaps some woman also believe these things to be true. I get the feeling that if Channel 10 had simply added the world stereotypical to the question, they'd be in less trouble today.

I for one am quite comfortable in my stereotypical roles. I don't feel like Family Feud or anyone else for that matter has made me feel like I am disadvantaged by choosing to live my life in a 'womans job'. Is it really that big of a deal? Don't we each personally have a choice to either act or re-act to such commentary?

And while we're on the topic - since when did it become such a bad thing to take your husbands name? Quite frankly I'm saddened by the article in smh.com.au today that critisizes Amal Clooney (yes Clooney) for changing her surname after marrying George. Seriously -this requires comment? Why is it not possible that an educated, beautiful woman of a certain age not be able to make a decision that honours her husband in a lovely, albeit traditional way? What on earth has this world come to if a woman can't change her name without being mocked for it? I say hurrah to the new Mrs Clooney! I know the day I married my man I was proud to take his name! Not because it was the traditional thing to do, but because this was the man I was committing my life and my heart to and I wanted to honour him in doing so. It doesn't mean that he isn't committed any less because he didn't take mine. It's about showing respect and about honouring the love between two people. If someone choses not to take their husbands name - it's fine with me - I don't feel the need to critisize the move publicly. Goodness me, do we need to be that picky? Truly?

There is beauty in tradition - nothing wrong with that in my mind. Perhaps the media need to recognise that it's possible to be a 'stereotypical woman' and be strong and capable at the same time. All this fuss about womans roles get's people all in a tizzy... just take a breath people.




Tuesday, 5 August 2014

Hold them close.

I just can't go to bed tonight without getting the emotion from my heart onto the page.

Today my 1st grader daughter lost a class mate. A boy in her class, J lost his battle with Acute Lymphoblastic Leukaemia (ALL).

Miss E1 seems mostly unaffected by it as if she is not fully aware of what this really means. Although I wonder if it will come out as days go by. She wasn't particularly close to J. They weren't in the same class last year and he was diagnosed in February this year, so has been off school since the first term. I don't even know his poor mama (we have a very big school). But his passing is weighing heavily on my heart tonight.

J was a classmate. A son, brother, grandson, cousin and friend. A brave little fighter. And he was juste six years old. The loss of someone so young is a tragedy and tonight I am praying for peace and comfort for his family and our school community who loved him.

I don't understand why this happened, but J's passing leaves a footprint on my heart. This little boy who I have never met has changed my perspective today. His legacy is in what he has taught us to prioritise in our lives.

How many times a day do I pick up my phone and tell my children to wait a minute while I just....?

How many times do I yell, snap, get impatient or angry with my kids?

How many times a day do I take a photo of them, rather than living in that special moment with them?

How many times a day do I get frustrated at the not so positive behaviours of my kids?

I can guarantee you that if I was J's mama tonight, I would give anything to go back and relive every one of those moments over.

I imagine myself running out of time with my precious babies. They're only babies for such a short time. Only toddlers for a short time. Preschoolers, kinders, and someday they will be teenagers then adults. Time will go by quicker than I want it to. Will I be able to look back and remember those moments?

This has been on my heart and building for weeks now. As I nuzzle in to my newborn daughter and remember every smell, every sound, every milestone I find myself lamenting that they will be gone before I am ready for them to be so. And yet some people don't or won't get the privilege of each season and stage. How can I not be in awe of the wonder of being a mum?

I am resolving to be a more calm parent. To listen. To respond. To chose love over anger and frustration. To chose gentle instead of dismissive. To chose time over time lost. Because I am blessed to be in every moment of their lives. And I am blessed to have them in mine.

Hold your babies a little closer tonight. Cherish every second. Love every moment. Because every single one is a blessing we are gifted with and I know I personally have taken it for granted too often. That changes now.

Rest in peace brave boy. Your life, though short, was not in vain. You have made a difference.




Think BIG. Start small.

Monday, 16 June 2014

Falling in love all over again....

Who knew the human heart could expand to love greater, deeper and more than it did before?

Three weeks ago we welcomed a new daughter and we couldn't be more smitten.

Emerson is a lot like her big sister and brother and yet her own precious little person.

She sleeps better than the first two, is not a fan of nappy changes, enjoys a chat, sounds like a kitten and is a tiny little poppet who has taken over our hearts.


So for now blogging and Thermomix are taking a backseat while I settle into my third stint as mama of a newborn. Thank you all for your support and best wishes!

Think BIG. Start (really!) small ;)