Tuesday, 5 August 2014

Hold them close.

I just can't go to bed tonight without getting the emotion from my heart onto the page.

Today my 1st grader daughter lost a class mate. A boy in her class, J lost his battle with Acute Lymphoblastic Leukaemia (ALL).

Miss E1 seems mostly unaffected by it as if she is not fully aware of what this really means. Although I wonder if it will come out as days go by. She wasn't particularly close to J. They weren't in the same class last year and he was diagnosed in February this year, so has been off school since the first term. I don't even know his poor mama (we have a very big school). But his passing is weighing heavily on my heart tonight.

J was a classmate. A son, brother, grandson, cousin and friend. A brave little fighter. And he was juste six years old. The loss of someone so young is a tragedy and tonight I am praying for peace and comfort for his family and our school community who loved him.

I don't understand why this happened, but J's passing leaves a footprint on my heart. This little boy who I have never met has changed my perspective today. His legacy is in what he has taught us to prioritise in our lives.

How many times a day do I pick up my phone and tell my children to wait a minute while I just....?

How many times do I yell, snap, get impatient or angry with my kids?

How many times a day do I take a photo of them, rather than living in that special moment with them?

How many times a day do I get frustrated at the not so positive behaviours of my kids?

I can guarantee you that if I was J's mama tonight, I would give anything to go back and relive every one of those moments over.

I imagine myself running out of time with my precious babies. They're only babies for such a short time. Only toddlers for a short time. Preschoolers, kinders, and someday they will be teenagers then adults. Time will go by quicker than I want it to. Will I be able to look back and remember those moments?

This has been on my heart and building for weeks now. As I nuzzle in to my newborn daughter and remember every smell, every sound, every milestone I find myself lamenting that they will be gone before I am ready for them to be so. And yet some people don't or won't get the privilege of each season and stage. How can I not be in awe of the wonder of being a mum?

I am resolving to be a more calm parent. To listen. To respond. To chose love over anger and frustration. To chose gentle instead of dismissive. To chose time over time lost. Because I am blessed to be in every moment of their lives. And I am blessed to have them in mine.

Hold your babies a little closer tonight. Cherish every second. Love every moment. Because every single one is a blessing we are gifted with and I know I personally have taken it for granted too often. That changes now.

Rest in peace brave boy. Your life, though short, was not in vain. You have made a difference.

Think BIG. Start small.

Monday, 16 June 2014

Falling in love all over again....

Who knew the human heart could expand to love greater, deeper and more than it did before?

Three weeks ago we welcomed a new daughter and we couldn't be more smitten.

Emerson is a lot like her big sister and brother and yet her own precious little person.

She sleeps better than the first two, is not a fan of nappy changes, enjoys a chat, sounds like a kitten and is a tiny little poppet who has taken over our hearts.

So for now blogging and Thermomix are taking a backseat while I settle into my third stint as mama of a newborn. Thank you all for your support and best wishes!

Think BIG. Start (really!) small ;)

Thursday, 1 May 2014

Impending birth... baby's a comin!

Well, there hasn't been a great deal of blogging going on around here - I've had this sudden realisation that it's May and I'm having a baby this month and perhaps I should start getting ready!

It's funny, the things you realise when you get to baby number three, the things that are really important.

Some things I've learned:

1. 'Stuff' will not love, nurture and feed a baby.

2. If you've got a few nappies and a boob, you're pretty much set.

3. People are incredibly generous with their old baby gear.

4. This baby has to come out whether I'm ready or not!

My beautiful little sister-in-law and her gorgeous husband are having their first baby. I remember that excitement, nerves and the sense of the unknown. I remember the mountains of beautiful baby shower gifts... and the wonder of where I would put them all! I am so excited for them as they embark on that journey and I'm getting a little giggle about how much my outlook on impending motherhood has changed since that time for me!

With our first - everything matched. Everything was organised, set up, washed (in LUX flakes of course) and installed months in advance.

With our second, maybe a month or two prior we had everything ready, because we still had everything from our first and because we had decided second time around to know the gender of our baby, we had all our beautiful blue things lined out.

This time around, we started with nothing. We hadn't planned any more babies so everything had been given away! All we had was an high chair and an baby carrier. I just this week (with three weeks to go) have washed everything in regular laundry powder. I have, because of the incredible generosity of our beautiful friends, all the 'stuff' I need (which is considerably less than we had the first time around - yet I have all we need!). But although we have the stuff, it currently lives in the spare/babies/study room and is somewhere buried under Mt Washmore! I am still a long way off 'ready', if you determine ready by the state of the baby's room.

Until now I haven't thought too much about becoming a mama for the third time. I was so sick with the first two babies that this time, until these last few weeks, I've barely noticed being pregnant because it's been so much easier this time around. And I think as a result, I haven't really prepared myself physically and emotionally.

Will I have time, room and space in my heart for a third? Will I still give my two older sweethearts the attention and love and care that they need. Every day I am praying that God will give me that capacity and the stamina to extend myself to this third little person and still love on my big kiddies the way they need. I know that I have it in me to be a great mama as long as I don't put pressure on myself to be a certain kind of perfect.

So, a 'Sunny Mummy' once told me that I should 'Look after my children's mother'... and that will become my mantra in these coming weeks. I know that if I take care of myself first, I will have the best to offer my babies - all THREE of them! Eeeek! Mummy of three! It's hard to believe but I'm so excited and I can't wait. I am, admittedly apprehensive about a third c-section, but I know that I am in the care of a great OB and that God's in control and that the outcome will be a beautiful little addition to our family.

I can't wait to share my news with you! Until then, Think BIG. Start small.